Sometimes I wonder if everything is so called-fated.
Recently, I started to rewind the past and look at the drama that I went through not too long ago closely, scrutinizing all the little little scenes which should have kind of rang the alarm in me but yet at that point of time, I didn't actually notice anything!
I just cannot understand how come things have to be so complicated. Or am I the one that is making my life complicated. Hahaha.
Just like D always say, a dancer's life is not complicated--it is the dancer who makes it complicated. I'm beginning to think it is true.
Well, my complication doesn't really stem or have anything to do with dancing (at the moment). It is with regards to L. At times, I am also not really sure if I know what I really want. He's being very aggressive and I am also slightly responding towards his signal. However, I do have those moments where I just feel something is pulling me back, for all sorts of reasons.
Maybe you'll say I am paranoid. I shouldn't be worrying too much.
The hesitant factor comes from the fear of history repeating...I mean, I also won't know whether the same drama will come on 2 years later and I don't want to waste time. Of course, I know it is a gamble right from the start. L is very nice but knowing that his certain attributes are not up to my "mark", that makes me hesitant too.
The girls tell me that I am entitled to have my expectations and all, but some also tell me that I should stop having the checklist because it is almost impossible to kind of have the best of both worlds. Moreover, experience has shown that even the person who got the most number of ticks on the checklist initially could fail you, so it is never an accurate form of measurement.
Another thing is also the complicated feeling that I have with D. He is the one who could really inspire me which also goes to show he has some impact on me. The same dreams that we have together and all...affects me quite a bit too.
Yes I agree with what they say but I am human lah, so it's easier said than done.
Oh well, I will try to moderate on the checklist thing and leave things to flow naturally.
Guess if it's meant to be, it will be.
Recently, I started to rewind the past and look at the drama that I went through not too long ago closely, scrutinizing all the little little scenes which should have kind of rang the alarm in me but yet at that point of time, I didn't actually notice anything!
I just cannot understand how come things have to be so complicated. Or am I the one that is making my life complicated. Hahaha.
Just like D always say, a dancer's life is not complicated--it is the dancer who makes it complicated. I'm beginning to think it is true.
Well, my complication doesn't really stem or have anything to do with dancing (at the moment). It is with regards to L. At times, I am also not really sure if I know what I really want. He's being very aggressive and I am also slightly responding towards his signal. However, I do have those moments where I just feel something is pulling me back, for all sorts of reasons.
Maybe you'll say I am paranoid. I shouldn't be worrying too much.
The hesitant factor comes from the fear of history repeating...I mean, I also won't know whether the same drama will come on 2 years later and I don't want to waste time. Of course, I know it is a gamble right from the start. L is very nice but knowing that his certain attributes are not up to my "mark", that makes me hesitant too.
The girls tell me that I am entitled to have my expectations and all, but some also tell me that I should stop having the checklist because it is almost impossible to kind of have the best of both worlds. Moreover, experience has shown that even the person who got the most number of ticks on the checklist initially could fail you, so it is never an accurate form of measurement.
Another thing is also the complicated feeling that I have with D. He is the one who could really inspire me which also goes to show he has some impact on me. The same dreams that we have together and all...affects me quite a bit too.
Yes I agree with what they say but I am human lah, so it's easier said than done.
Oh well, I will try to moderate on the checklist thing and leave things to flow naturally.
Guess if it's meant to be, it will be.
posted by DANCiA @ 5:13 PM
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